Songs for Baby Loss Awareness

Since forming in 2014 we have written a new song each year for Baby Loss Awareness Month, all of which are free to download for anyone who needs them. 
 
It is our hope that these songs will help people connect with their emotions while they navigate their grief after the loss of a child.
 
Lucy Hiku and Jenny Payne met each other (and their husbands) while studying music in 2002. Sadly in 2009 Jenny and her husband Rob lost their darling son Leo at three days old. Baby loss is not a commonly discussed subject and we are hopeful that the music we create can spark conversations about our angels, our miscarriages and the loss of our children.

 

"I'll  feel  you  in  the  sun    
I'll  hear  you  in  the  wind    
I'll  see  you  in  my  dreams    
I'll  hold  you  in  my  heart 

 

I'll  find  you  in  the  quiet,  or  the  swell  of the  ocean    
I'll  find  you  in  the  dawn  of  the  hurt
Your  memory  may  sneak    
From  my  eyes  unto  my  cheek    
My  darling"

 

Itty Bitty Beats’ baby loss songs; ‘The Last Lullaby’, ‘Soaring Through Skies’ and ‘They Say’ are being used worldwide, especially in the UK, by baby loss support groups and stillborn photographers. “This music we are creating is a legacy to Leo’s memory and we hope it can reach the people who need it”. Our baby loss songs were mentioned in an article in The Sun in a piece about UK stillborn photographers Remember My Baby.
 
We are constantly receiving messages from families requesting our songs to be played at funerals and memorial services for their children. People send us emails to share their stories. We hear from individuals, from baby loss organisations and support groups... we have discovered an incredible network of people who understand this type of grief and all that goes with it.

 

These songs have connected us with strangers all over the world who share the one thing we all wish never happened. One tough thing we’ve found after releasing these songs has been discovering how many of our friends and family members have miscarried, but never shared their experience because of the taboo nature of child loss. We need to talk about our grief, our loss and our babies. Staying silent doesn’t help any of us heal.

"Now  you  are  soaring  through  skies    
Our  planes  can't  fly  to    
Can  you  hear  my  cries?    
You're  the  one  I  call  to    


You  are  a  candle  burning  bright  within  my  heart    You're  a  gift  I've  loved  so  dearly  from  the  start    And  though  you  are  beyond  my  touch    
I  love  you  so  very  much"

Our newest song ‘They Say’ is quite different from our previous baby loss songs. It is more about our relationships with others during the grieving process. Friends and family want to help and don’t really know what to say during a time that there really isn’t anything to say.

 

You hear comments from people who mean well that start with “at least…” like “at least you can try again…” “at least you have one child already”... “at least you know there was nothing you could do”... and they really cut deep. 

"They  say  that  time  will  heal    
But  the  only  time  it  will    
Is  when  you're  in  my  arms  again    
They  say  that  scars  will  heal    
But  don't  they  see    
They're  all  I  have  left  of  you?
   
No  need  to  look  on  the  bright  side    
I'm  in  the  shadow  of  losing  you    
And  even  in  the  sunshine,  all  I  see  is  rain
But  it's  just  the  tears  rolling  down  my  face"

During our grief, the most healing words we’ve heard are: 

It’s ok to cry. 
You can talk about your baby/experience/sadness/loss with me any time. 
I’m here to grieve with you.  
Grief has no timeline and no end date. Your loss will be felt for your lifetime and I’m here with you for a lifetime.

When words fail - just show up. Bring a meal. Hold a hand. Help with chores. Google articles about grief to educate yourself on ways to support the people you love who are going through imaginable pain. Step up, don’t step away. Supporting someone who is processing such profound loss is hard work. When you aren't sure of what to do, it’s enough just to love and listen.

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